anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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