I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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