your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
