no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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