I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
