It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
