are you still at the devil's house?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize