I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
