tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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