Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
