is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i think my cat just said my name.
So vagazzling was a success
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
