They should really pass out barf bags in church
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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