She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Randomize
