how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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