we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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