Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
