No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
