All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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