im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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