Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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