you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
