she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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