I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
