Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
