I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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