that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
