Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Houston, we have a squirter
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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