question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
