Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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