So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
