Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
