Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
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I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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