there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
