Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
