I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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