She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
