when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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