When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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