hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
