Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so let's talk penis.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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