I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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