who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my being single is dangerous.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
