This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
