high people should be assigned attendants
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
