He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
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Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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