Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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