I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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