If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
