Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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