Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
