You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He felt like a one man threesome
His hands were made for my vagina.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
