you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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