I seem to have left my pride at pride
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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