the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Panties = found
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
