did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
