You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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