Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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