I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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