The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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