I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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