no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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