What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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