people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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