You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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